Corrupt a Wish

For people who don't know how to play this: Someone makes a wish. Then in your post you grant the wish above but create something disastrous as a result. Your post should also include your own wish so someone else will corrupt it.

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Example:

First post:
I wish I over 9000 dollars!

Second post:
Granted, but they're all in your sister's account.
I wish I had a pony.

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I'll start.

I wish they actually made a good Sonic game for a change.

Granted, but it has no legs

I wish days were longer.

Granted, but school hours are longer.

I wish more people would post.

Granted, but they all do what you did back in '06, where almost every single post was "Really?"

I wish I wasn't a jackass.

Really?

I wish Sonic 06 would be glitchless and loadless.

Granted, but you realize in sadness that even then the game is terrible.

I wish my goatee would grow back.

Granted, but it eats your coat.

I wish I was as popular as Blackarms.

Granted, but you disappear from the internet half a year later.

I wish I had some chocolate.

Granted, but it contains a "surprise".

I wish I could destroy Ganon.

Granted, but later, realizing that your life has no purpose with him destroyed, you kill yourself.

I wish people would audition for my cartoon.